WAD of CASH! Recruited- Money Talks? - A Prominent New York Life Insurance Agent and Partner offers me a very different job opportunity than the one he originally proposed…

It all starts at Tommy V’s Italian Bistro in Scottsdale Arizona. One of my favorite Authentic Italian Restaurants for so many reasons the people, the atmosphere, and the cuisine are soon to be linked with a memory I would rather not have…….

trip down memory lane in an attempt to heal out loud and also help anyone else who, like me, has been treated less than by someone for no reason other than plain bullying… unequal treatment, and predatory behavior….

My current role is helping Vincenza by acting as interim manager and greeting customers before their dining reservations. This Man was a regular at the restaurant. He and his entire family were present that night. His wife, grown children, and grandkids. I met the whole family, and they seemed like any other family. Toward the end of the evening, he handed me his card and asked if I’d be interested in exploring an opportunity at NYL. He mentioned he was part of a recruitment effort with another agent, looking for fresh talent. Because I had met Frank A before, I had reason to believe his interest in me for recruitment wasn’t on the up and up. We’re meeting at a restaurant near Biltmore Fashion Square Mall in a few days. He said to bring my resume, references, and any other relevant information. What ends up happening and the rabbit hole I am about to go down caught me completely off guard. The restaurant was busy when I got there, but he was easy to spot in a corner booth just before the bar, tucked away from the main walkway. He was already drinking when I showed up, which surprised me since I’d intended it to be a dinner date or just drinks. Upon my arrival, the server came back to the table and, to my surprise, ordered me a drink. This man, who we will refer to as Elmer FUD, had initiated this. I declined, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’m sitting here, hoping he’ll either ask about my experience or tell me about the NYL job opening. He decided to ask me about my life, a bit of small talk, and I answered politely. Trying to be respectful while setting boundaries. We enjoyed our food, and he looked at my resume, was impressed with my experience, and made it clear that he was eager to have me join his Scottsdale team. Once we finished eating, the server cleared our plates and then, reaching across the table seemed to want to shake my hand. I couldn’t understand why he acted that way. I was even more surprised when he handed me a huge wad of cash wrapped in a rubber band. I was completely taken aback. My heart sank into my chest, and my throat sunk into my stomach, leaving me speechless. A wave of nausea washed over me, making me feel like I was going to be sick. My thoughts were racing. My thoughts were, “Did I overlook something?” Did I give him this impression I could be bought?!” I thought to myself, “What is this money for!!?” I mean, I was in a state of panic and trying to remain calm and in control of myself at the same time. I was horrified and at a loss for words as he followed me out of the restaurant. He accompanied me to my car and said, “This money is yours.” I would like you to consider allowing me to take care of you. In the past, I’ve provided support to individuals like this, for instance, a woman working towards her nursing degree. I’m willing to cover your condo and living expenses, whatever you need, in exchange for occasional visits and time spent together. He leaned in as if he was going to kiss me. Understanding his meaning, I felt a surge of disgust, almost retching as he nonchalantly presented an opportunity that others had exploited, fueling my anger and revulsion. I waited until I was in my car, and he was gone before allowing myself to cry. Why is this happening to me? How did I give this man the impression that this kind of treatment was okay? What’s the matter with him? I can’t believe how messed up the world is. Why can’t a man offer me a job without trying to harass me sexually? This wasn’t the first time a man was offered a job with hidden motives. Following that, I was faced with a decision, and I still think about the two paths I could have chosen. In this moment, I was overcome with anger and emotion. I went back inside the restaurant and asked for the manager on duty. I asked her if she knew Elmer Fudd from NYL when she came out. She said yes, he’s a regular here. I said, “good.” Return the cash to him and deliver a strong message, or simply hand it over without saying a word. I’m not influenced by money, and I find his harassment unacceptable. Was shocked. I walked away and never looked back. I have tried to erase it from my memory and moved forward, but his face and that wad of cash still haunt me to this day!

What do you think? How would you handle it? Should I have taken the money despite him? What would you have done? I would like to know how other people would have handled this situation. It replays in my mind.